So if you are under 18, a right wing republican christian or anyone else who is offended by nudity, vulgarity and/or a wanton disrespect for societal norms, consider yourself warned and leave. Oh and might I add, "If thine eyes offend thee, PLUCK THEM OUT". Just don't complain!

~The more defects a man may have, the older he is, the less lovable, the more resounding his success.~
Marquis de Sade

"Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag - and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down - I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. 'Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed? Did he know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment. That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. " from The Libertine and the bottom of Nic's dark soul.

There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.
~Antonin Artaud

I hurt myself see if i still feel......I focus on the pain......the only thing thats real......The needle tears a hole.....the old familiar sting........try to kill it all away..........but I remember everything........what have I become, my sweetest friend .........everyone i know, goes away in the end.......and you could have it all, my empire of dirt........I will let you down..........I will make you hurt..........I wear this crown of thorns.....upon my liars chair......full of broken thoughts.........I cannot repair..........beneath the stains of time........the feelings are someone else..........I am still right here.........What have I become, my sweetest friend..........everyone I know, goes away in the end...........and you could have it all, my empire of dirt..........I will let you down............I will make you hurt...........if I could start again, a million miles away..........I will keep myself..........I would find a way.......NINE INCH NAILS

Saturday, July 09, 2005
To Confess or Not to Confess

I'm not a Catholic, in fact I may be the furthest thing from being a Catholic having read the Gnostic Texts and admiring those whom the Catholics deemed to be responsible for the Grand Heresy. However lately I have thought about seeking absolution. I mean, I have given it some consideration due to recent events. I am beginning to believe that some higher power would really like to see me contrite. The fact that Kansas City has all the amenities of perdition for me is scary, it is at least purgatory and since I can't seem to escape it must mean that my penance has not been completed.

My dilemma is that I don't really feel guilty and I don't think I will fool the supreme polygraph. There is the additional problem of how to go about this; I am after al 57 years old and have lived a pretty vile (in some opinions) life. I don't believe I could just pop into the confessional and say "Forgive me father I have sinned. Its been 57 years since my last confession and I want to tell you they have been great years, but I know God would not approve of most of what I have done."

The poor frazzled priest having nothing better to do might say, "Well my son lets take it in decades."
Now you have to understand although I know I'm theoretically talking to God, I know there is a guy in the box next to me and I have a vivid imagination so the following come to mind: 1. He looks like Pat O'Brian, Bing Crosby, or the actor from the Exorcist. 2. He's been through at least 2 substance abuse programs and possibly some sex therapy program to evacuate any carnal desires from his body and 3. I think I can hear him mumbling "I can do this, I can do this"

"Well father, between birth and ten I lusted after my mother, sister and kindergarten teacher, played with myself frequently enough to dispel the myth that I'd go blind, and kept daring the little girl next door to show me her pussy (she thought I meant kitty) so I got more descriptive and she said "OK". I stole from stores (candy and stuff like that) and basically decided that my parents had kidnapped me , because they were not worthy of my respect. In Sunday school I lusted after Patsy Cook and used my bible to spank her. In the 1st-3rd grade I lusted after Ronnie Lou Wood (I did a lot of Lusting) this very cute freckle faced brunette. Oh and I stole flowers from yards on the way to school to give to the love of my life."

I can imagine the priest, trying to restrain the image of a young boy playing with himself and focus on my immortal soul. I also can imagine the crack of the seal on a bottle and it isn't "Give Me the Powerade". I continue "Between ten and twenty, I continued to lust (naturally), my interest in my mother faded as her boobs began to droop, and in my sister picked up as she and all her girlfriends began to develop. Though the sister thing also faded (thank God for puberty) I continued to seek out her girlfriends (a year younger) and now was presented to older women.

My first was the young wife of a Baptist minister (the priest should be happy it was a heathen Baptist and not a Nun). She was in her late 20's and I was barely 15. Her name was Joan French and she was hot. Her navel had all but disappeared because she stuck coins in it to narrow it. Her breast were full and firm and she was unhappy in her marriage. All I know is that she was horny and loved young boys and we loved her. There were also girls at school and a married waitress that was 21 and married to a marine. We'd fuck on the stairs and in her car and then she'd clean up while I chatted with her husband. I continued to grab a candy bar on occasion and lie frequently. I joined the military and went to Viet Nam, where I learned that whores were a quick and easy fix. I started smoking dope there and Oh yeah I think I killed someone I shouldn't have, but it was an accident and the military is OK with collateral damage so I guess God is too."

Now the smell of cheap whiskey is present in the confessional and smoke is drifting through the little holes in the screen. The priest sighs and says, "My son, nature calls, take five and try not to defile the confessional while I am gone". I hear the door an his side close and wait. I read the stuff carved on the confessional wall "God+Me" in a heart, "Jesus Rules", "V Mary is a Fox", "I've got your immaculate conception right here" and the priest re-enters. He say's lets try to do the next 10 years and then break for lunch, OK". I agree and begin, "OK between twenty and thirty, lust was in high gear, I was part of the sex, drug, and rock'n roll crowd and used to taunt Jesus freaks (excuse me). I went to college, worked as a Psych nurse, lusted after the younger married head nurse , but had an affair with a nurse that was my mothers age, thus fulfilling the whole Oedipus thing without actually fucking my mother. In fact I had several lovers that were 20+ years older than me and they were very informative. I got into BDSM, married for the first time and had a son. My wife wanted a divorce so I continued to play with married women and moved back to LA. There I was in nursing so I did some good things, like help this cute Jewish girl after she was my patient by moving in with her and showing her gentiles didn't have tails. I met a married woman whose husband (a Naval Officer) was stationed in Guam. She was a belly dancer and had a girl my sons age, we lived together for six months and then I moved on. I had four good years with a married woman whose husband owned a travel agency and who gave her a BMW. She was going to leave him for me, but it meant returning the BMW so we parted. I ended up with that (now unmarried ) supervisor. I loved my son and was raising him. My fascination with BDSM was a good thing and very spiritual, in fact several aspects are related to worship and I even had a St. Andrews Cross, in fact De Sade's uncle was a bishop and he was a Catholic. He attributes much to his upbringing."

At this point the priest calls for lunch. We exit the confessional at the same time and I notice that he is sweating and nervous. His eye keeps winking and his collar is open. I peek inside the door of his side and see several cigarette butts on the floor and a small brown paper bag with a bottle in it. The priest turns and scurries off. I feel better than I have in years and can't wait for the next session and clearing the slate. About then this cute teenage Hispanic girl approaches. She is tall thin and beautiful. Petite breast and long legs and big eyes, she ask if the priest is in the confessional. I responded "yes" and told her to go in. After her door was closed I slipped into the middle chamber and said "Yes my daughter?". She began, "forgive me father for I have sinned" and I respond "Tell me!"

Posted at 11:59 am by BondageMaster

July 11, 2005   08:07 AM PDT
If a young boy is "nubile" I think he is already in trouble. As for corporal punishment I think they don't even do it in High School, but if you want I can throw on a cassock and bend you over My knee and hear your confession and give you pennance at the same time;)
July 11, 2005   07:23 AM PDT
Unless you were talking about young nubile boys, I doubt the priest would have been that interested. (hehe)

I went to a Jesuit Catholic College for a year and we "mutually agreed" I would not return. I guess if it had been run by stern nuns, I would have gotten a lot of spankings. (Do they do corporal punishment past high school? I don't think so...)

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My Extended Profile

I have been both a Master and Dom in the BDSM lifestyle for 40 years. I am currently in Sin City, (Las Vegas, Nevada), but I have plied my art all over the country and yes, the giving of pain and pleasure is an art.

I started this because I thought there might be an interaction between myself and like minded individuals, but found most willing to look and not speak; for this reason I have eliminated the tag board and your ability to comment (Consider yourself gagged).

My Blog has become a reflective self analysis and has enabled Me to vent. It has reflected on my childhood, BDSM and it has been a place to share poetry, stories, and art; all erotic in their own way

Having written here for over three years, I realized that I wanted this to be the home of My impure thoughts and deeds; I decided to create another home for the menusha that comes to mind. I created Alt-Thinkining for those who have an interest in my political and social side and who might be appauled or offended by My more carnal thoughts (I love My carnal thoughts ).

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I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent,or wiser. I do not dominate because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and and embracing your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak and inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind, and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present the control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty and the faithfulness of your heart.

You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; You have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind.

I dominate only because you have allowed me too and when I see you kneel before me, in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women, and all the treasures on the earth. What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.

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And From a Submissive Woman

I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength and wisdom.

He is everything to me, as I am everything to him. His touch awakens me and his thoughts free me. Only in serving him do I find complete freedom and joy. His punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that he has my best interests always foremost in his mind. If he desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought him happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is his, and if he says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in his eyes, and because of that I hold my head high... .. for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If he says I am his princess, then I am that...regal and graceful. And if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Master wrong?

If he says I am his toy, his slut, his tramp, then I am wanton and dirty as he wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master. My mind is his, to expand, to explore, to know as only he can. I have no secrets from him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly his. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and I do not want walls.

His lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons he has decided I need, and so I learn from him. My soul is his, as bare to his touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel his presence, be he miles away or standing over me.

I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought he puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for his, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.

His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend his time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him. I am his pleasure and his responsibility, and he takes both seriously. I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.

Only to he who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud.

I am a submissive woman.

Seeking Spanking

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"For women the best aphrodisiacs are words,
The G-spot is in the ears"~Isabel Allende

Things I Had To Hide
Click Here To Enter

Long Stories


Shaking the Family Tree Chapter I
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter II
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter III
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter IV
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter V
Shaking the Family Tree -The Music Lover

Conjuring Adonis I
Conjuring Adonis II
Conjuring Adonis III
Conjuring Adonis IV

Dream Lover I
Dream Lover II
Dream Lover III

Vlad's Lesson Plan
Vlad's Next Semester
Vlad's Final Lesson
Vlad's Beginning
Vlad's Resurrection Part 1
Vlad's Resurrection Part II

The Libertine of Libby Part 1
The Libertine of Libby Part 2
The Libertine of Libby Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 4
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 1
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 2
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 5
The Libertine of Libby Part 6
The Libertine of Libby Part 7
The Libertine of Libby Part 8
The Libertine of Libby Part 9
The Libertine of Libby Part 10 (Last Chapter)

j's Seduction
j's Objectification
Recreating j
Educating j

The Photo Shoot Part 1
The Photo Shoot Part 2

Electra's Story Part 1
Electra's Story Part 2

Sunday's Child Part 1

Short Stories
(For those seeking immediate gratification)

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The Book
De Sade, the Orgy and the Trial
I Cum In Peace
Biting My Way Into The New Year
Her Master's Test
Off White, Six Defective Doms and One Pathetic Troll
Going Postal
The New Year's Party

Nocturnal Events
Nocturnal Emissions
Love's Garden
Patty On A Leash/Re-written
To Confess or Not To confess
Binding of Kay
Raising Bella Donna
One Last Good-bye
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Sub
Stella In The Stacks
Red Rain
Breakfast With A Twist
Mon Couer's Papillon (My Heart's Butterfly)
When Daddy's Girl is Bad
The Sitter, The Voyeur and Graduation Day
Please Don't Hurt Me
Cumalot or Knights In Tarnished Armor
Her Halloween Date
His Voice
Life's Little Ironies
The Gift
My Slut ester
Playing With Toyosi
The Slave Auction
#9 - A Detective Story

Ramblings and Observations
(For those who want a piece of My mind)

Puppy Love
Cunniliguis As A Religious Rite
Players, Pretenders and Abusers
Edgeplay and the Knife
My Youth
BDSM Website Security
On Missing Play
Beads a Semi-Fictional Account
Playing With Toyosi or How To Torture A Scammer
Hospital Stories

Photo Interpretations
(As I See It)
La Image'
La Image' II
The Shower
My Toy
Daddy's Girl
Chocolate and Roses
Special Delivery
Waiting II
Edge Play
This Flesh
Not Watching
Tango 2
Inside of You
Mentally bound
His Flower
Her Grief

Poetry of a sort
(very little rhymes)

Faded Words on Yellowing Paper
I Was
submissive position

Ladies of the Night

Bedtime Stories
My Love Fable
Pond of Sorrow and Tears
The Journey

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Extreme Body Modification
(Warning some of these photos may offend, even people with twisted minds)


(They May Spank You For Viewing)

Married Man's Fucktoy
Now Tease Me
Incubus Dreams
Peep Show Stories
Annie's Spanking Good Blog
Vue du dedans
Dee Reawakening
Polyfetishist Directory
The Abyss
Mostly Appropriate
Shadow Of A Soul
Liz Vicious Fan Site
La Libertine's Salon
T of Reknin Day
Siren's Song
The Ties That Bind
Mistress Matisse's Journal
3xL : Lust, Love & Latex
Sensual Liberation Army
News For Perverts
The Spanking Blog
Art Of Love
Spanking Art
Pillow Book

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