So if you are under 18, a right wing republican christian or anyone else who is offended by nudity, vulgarity and/or a wanton disrespect for societal norms, consider yourself warned and leave. Oh and might I add, "If thine eyes offend thee, PLUCK THEM OUT". Just don't complain!

~The more defects a man may have, the older he is, the less lovable, the more resounding his success.~
Marquis de Sade

"Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag - and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down - I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. 'Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed? Did he know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment. That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. " from The Libertine and the bottom of Nic's dark soul.

There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.
~Antonin Artaud

I hurt myself see if i still feel......I focus on the pain......the only thing thats real......The needle tears a hole.....the old familiar sting........try to kill it all away..........but I remember everything........what have I become, my sweetest friend .........everyone i know, goes away in the end.......and you could have it all, my empire of dirt........I will let you down..........I will make you hurt..........I wear this crown of thorns.....upon my liars chair......full of broken thoughts.........I cannot repair..........beneath the stains of time........the feelings are someone else..........I am still right here.........What have I become, my sweetest friend..........everyone I know, goes away in the end...........and you could have it all, my empire of dirt..........I will let you down............I will make you hurt...........if I could start again, a million miles away..........I will keep myself..........I would find a way.......NINE INCH NAILS

Saturday, July 16, 2005
Hospital Stories (May 2004)

I have been away a week; back in the hospital with a complication of my last hospital stay. Back under the knife, back on meds, back on my back for a short while. My Dr. was a Hindu woman dark and thin, whose eyes lit up when she saw Ganesha, Shiva, and the Buddha on my chest. She was bright and articulate and a personification of the jewels of India in every way; unfortunately also married. There was another Indian woman (Med Student) named Meena on her team who was young (perhaps 25) and eager and enjoyed my company (however I think because I was not an older pathetic case and was willing to let her work on me so she could get things {med school related} checked off her list). One day Meena came in and said (not embellished but as stated) "I need to give a physical to a patient, would you mind? There would be no rectal exam *winking*, just the physical". "And no prostate (though some men enjoy a good prostate massage, I am not one of them)", I responded. Unfortunately Meena left India at 2 so was Indian in appearance only and I was but a warm cadaver for her to experiment on; so I let her (what the hell).

As for the nursing staff, it was bleak. Most were middle aged and portly, the exception being a 22 year old blonde who was highly desirable, but whose boy friend was a cop (talk of handcuffs revealed that information). So what did I do while medical science worked its magic? What any disabled perv would, conjured memories of a time when hospitals were a feeding ground not associated with misery. I journeyed back in my mind to the first hospital I worked in (South Bay Hospital, Redondo Beach, Calif.) and the loves I encountered there.

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Rita, Maria and Me

There is something about hospitals; something therapeutic in a non-medicinal vein. Not the treatment (though at times as both care giver and receiver it might have begun there). No for me it was the women associated with the hospital community; nurses, aides, therapist, x-ray techs, doctor's wives and even patients became lovers at one time or another. I know this sounds highly unprofessional and maybe unethical, but we were all consenting adults and some were a bit more consenting than others (disclaimer: at no time did I do anything in a hospital that wasn't consented to and with regard to patients we waited until they were discharged {though my massages at times bordered on the erotic, they were only teasers for future events} which created some interesting relationships. These women were all desirable, healthy, intelligent and caring; in no other environment could such an assemblage occur and I was fortunate to be working in this wonderland.

I began my nursing career after being discharged from the service. I had been a Navy Hospital Corpsman so was a sought after commodity in the nursing community (in a care giving capacity). I was hired into the "ER" but it was never like the TV series. Sure we had the drama, and trauma; we had death and birth and a hell of a lot of drug over doses, but this was a California beach city hospital so everyone had great tans and beautiful bodies. The ER was directly across from the pharmacy and unlike today nurses would journey there to collect patient meds. When not busy saving some poor wretch who didn't use enough sun block; I would watch the parade of starched white uniforms as they gathered around the pharmacy window. I felt much like a lion at a watering hole watching the gazelles come down for a drink. It was in this way that I met Rita R. and Maria.

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Rita was tall and slender; a blue eyed, sandy blonde RN. At 5' 9" she had a body fit for modeling and a walk that drew attention. In contrast Maria (a nurses aide and her best friend) was about 5'4", with a dark Hispanic complexion and raven black hair. She was more curvy than Rita, but extremely well proportioned. Her dark eyes and full lips were hard to look away from when she smiled and everyday when they went to the pharmacy they would look over and smile. Looking back I can't be sure who picked up who. I know that we greeted each other coyly for about a week and then began talking. I remember being told that they were going clubbing one night and being asked if I'd like to come along. That was an invitation that no hetero- sexual male could say no to and one that I accepted without a second thought.

We met down at Papa Joe's Rock Emporium, it had live bands, good drinks and a dance floor we could play on. From the moment we entered the door every male in the house turned their heads to see the women I had with me. Many came over to ask for a dance and each in turn was rejected with a "We're with him"; a couple looked at me and asked why I wasn't "sharing the wealth" and I just smiled and said "I don't share". We hit a couple of more clubs that night and the reactions were the same; I just assumed that the girls were messing with the players and that I made it easy for them. At closing time Rita asked, if I wanted to go over to her place with them (another invitation that took no thinking) and I said "sure" (not wanting to sound too eager).

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Rita had a nice little 2 bedroom California Bungalow, close to the beach in Manhattan Beach. It turned out that Maria was staying with her while her boyfriend (Maria's) was serving time in the county jail (I never did ask what he had done). When we got there Rita poured some wine and turned on some music, we started talking and touching and a short while later Maria whispered something to Rita and announced that she was going to bed. I said good-night as she headed for the back of the house leaving Rita and I alone on the couch. Our conversation became a makeout session that was getting hotter and heavier by the minute. The heat from our bodies was unbelievable as she took me by the hand and led me to her bedroom.

I watched her as she unbuttoned her shirt, exposing her perfectly rounded breast. Nubile and firm, they cried to be touched, so I cupped them in my hands and brought my lips to their hardened nipples. First a kiss and then a bite as Rita's head went back, eyes closed enjoying the sensation and revealing her lovely neck. God I wanted her; I wanted to taste every inch of her. At that point we started peeling each other's clothes off almost as if it were a race. Naked we slid into her warm bed, and began to explore each other. Her body laid beneath me as I rose on one elbow to better take it all in. She was fair skinned for someone who lived on the beach, in contrast to my darkness. My hands explored her white flesh, enjoying each curve and where it took me. I brought my hand slowly over her stomach and she shuddered as it continued down to the inside of her thighs. With a gentle pressure she parted he legs so that I could at first stroke and soon penetrate her well trimmed pussy.

There were few if any words spoken, all was communicated through the hands. We responded to each others touch in almost a magic way as if each touch was a wish fulfilled, and each response a gift. I eased myself down the bed spreading her legs and elevating them over my shoulders. I brought my hands under her firm ass and lifted her to my mouth. Her pussy separated with the pressure of my tongue and I began to suck and lick and drink from her as if I was a Humming bird drawn to a Honeysuckle. Her vagina became my chalice, my holy grail and the sweetness inside was more intoxicating than any drink we had that night. As I fed on her, she grabbed the sheets and arched her back just as she came in my mouth. Rita hadn't just cum but ejaculated sending her warm juices into my mouth. I swallowed and wanted more, just as she gave me more accompanied by a moan of sheer contentment. With this next rush I brought my lips to hers as I slid my cock into her.

She brought her long legs up and wrapped them around me, pulling me in as far as I might go. We rolled so that she was now on top and could thrust herself in a rhythm that brought about yet another orgasm. With this one she brought her head down and I pulled her mouth to mine. While our mouths were trying to swallow each other I brought my fingers to her nipples and began squeezing. I could feel her response throughout her body as she pulled her head back, arching her back and moaning. I began to roll to the side forcing her back on her back while never releasing her nipples. I began to push myself into her harder and faster as her moans increased. Releasing her nipples I brought one hand up to retrain hers and the other to quiet her (being aware that Maria was a room away).

I rose above her taking myself out of her and rolled her onto her stomach. I reached down and felt the warm fluid from her pussy that had run between her thighs and with it lubricated her ass. My finger found a willing entry as she pushed her hips up beckoning it. I brought my cock to that gate as it parted willingly. With my legs separating hers I held her hands with mine; she struggled as if being attacked, but made sure to muffle her cries by burying her face in her pillow. With every push I felt her hips push back until I could resist no more. I shoved myself deep and released, feeling her constrict with each flow. Totally exhausted and dripping wet I collapsed on her. She rolled her head to the side and smiled. I brought my lips to hers in a less frenzied kiss. "That was nice", I said and she let out a long "yesssss".

I rolled onto my back next to her; she rolled to her side and began rubbing the hair on my chest while looking at me. "I'll be right back", she said getting up and disappearing into the bathroom. In a moment she came back with a basin, wash cloth and towel. She knelt down next to the bed and began bathing me. She began at my head bathing and drying as she went. Once at my crotch she took extreme care in ensuring I was perfectly clean and dry before bringing her mouth down on me. I laid there in a state of euphoria, knowing that the patients that she tended to during the day would never see this kind of bed bath during their stay. She brought her head up and smiled as if she had just read my mind. She looked at me and said, "I feel sorry for Maria, she had to have heard us and has been without her boyfriend for months. Would you go to her?"

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I wasn't sure whether I had the strength to comfort her. We had been in bed for almost two hours and there was no resting, but I agreed (OK, I am a guy and for some reason, her willingness to send me to Maria having just bathed and prepared me for the event was a turn-on). I went to Maria's door and knocked gently, thinking she might actually have slept. "Come in" she responded. "Rita thought I should come to you; she said that you had been without your man for months and might want your desires fulfilled", I told her. As if it had been pre-arranged by the two of them Maria said "I know, and she is right, but my boyfriend must never learn of this" and she parted her sheets inviting me in.

Her night light was dim, but I could see her body clearly. Her breast were larger than Rita's and her nipples almost black against her dark skin. She had a small tummy and well defined waist and hips. Her body rolled towards mine as I brought my hand down her back and over her round but very firm ass. She kissed me and smiled, "I can taste Rita in your mouth. Its OK, I like that taste". With that she slid her body down mine. Her mouth took me in and she began to suck on my flaccid cock while cupping my balls in one hand and kneading my chest hair with her other. She knew how to arouse me and did. Her gentle sucking became more wild as she began to feel me respond. I told her I wanted to taste her too and she smiled. She swung herself around so that her pussy was facing me while she continues to suck. I took my fingers and parted her darkened labia exposing her wet pink center. I wondered if she had been fingering herself while listening to Rita and I. Her pussy was extremely wet and very tasty as I began licking. I put my hands on her thighs and pulled her back closer to me. She stretched her body in almost a cat like fashion to accommodate and I was able to begin kissing her enlarged clit. As my mouth kissed and licked her clit I could feel her respond. Her interest in sucking on me faded as her desire to be stroked harder and faster increased. She held onto my stiff cock as if it were a joy stick on a video game while pushing herself against my mouth.

When I felt that the moment was right I moved her to the side and mounted her doggy style. Her head and torso dropped leaving her ass in the air. I held onto her hips and continued to thrust myself into her. I could hear my legs slapping up against her and began to spank her with one hand as I rode her hard. I heard her moan and then cry out as she began making rapid thrusting motions on me. She had cum for the first time in months with a man and began to sob. She stretched out flat on her stomach with her legs spread as I brought myself flat on top of her and continued to gently push and retreat. I stretched my arms out over hers and held her hands as I whispered, "I know it wasn't me that you made love to, and I understand". She raised her head and I could see the trail of a tear so I kissed and licked it away. We continued to rock in that fashion until she pushed her hips up and into me. "Lay back" she said and as I did she brought her mouth down on me again except this time I was wet with her. She used her mouth as an artist uses a brush. With every stroke her creation grew until I could contain myself no more. As I released, she withdrew her mouth and squeezed my cock in her hand allowing my cum to cover the head of my cock and her fingers. When I had finished she brought her hand to her mouth and slowly licked the hot cum off and then brought her mouth down on me and cleansed me with her tongue.

She sat atop me for a while and then stood up. She offered me her hand and led me back to Rita's bed. Rita laid there smiling as I crawled in next to her and Maria crawled in behind me. I was in every manís wildest fantasy and never wanted it to end. As I laid between the two of them, they each rose up and leaned over me until there lips met. Maria brought her mouth still tasting of my cum and they began to make out. I laid there, while my hands pulled their hips closer together. As they kissed I could feel each begin to play with my cock and to rub me. They continued to kiss and work their way down my body. The three of us began tasting each other and creating various combinations of play as we pleasured each other until dawn.

We stayed together for months until Maria's boyfriend was released. She kissed us good-bye and left. To the best of my knowledge he never suspected a thing, neither did any of our co-workers at South Bay. I stayed with Rita for a while longer, but our circle had been broken and we were never able to fill the void left by Maria. We separated, but saw each other daily at work as we prowled the halls looking for fresh meat.

Posted at 03:07 pm by BondageMaster


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My Extended Profile

I have been both a Master and Dom in the BDSM lifestyle for 40 years. I am currently in Sin City, (Las Vegas, Nevada), but I have plied my art all over the country and yes, the giving of pain and pleasure is an art.

I started this because I thought there might be an interaction between myself and like minded individuals, but found most willing to look and not speak; for this reason I have eliminated the tag board and your ability to comment (Consider yourself gagged).

My Blog has become a reflective self analysis and has enabled Me to vent. It has reflected on my childhood, BDSM and it has been a place to share poetry, stories, and art; all erotic in their own way

Having written here for over three years, I realized that I wanted this to be the home of My impure thoughts and deeds; I decided to create another home for the menusha that comes to mind. I created Alt-Thinkining for those who have an interest in my political and social side and who might be appauled or offended by My more carnal thoughts (I love My carnal thoughts ).

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I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent,or wiser. I do not dominate because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and and embracing your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak and inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind, and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present the control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty and the faithfulness of your heart.

You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; You have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind.

I dominate only because you have allowed me too and when I see you kneel before me, in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women, and all the treasures on the earth. What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.

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And From a Submissive Woman

I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength and wisdom.

He is everything to me, as I am everything to him. His touch awakens me and his thoughts free me. Only in serving him do I find complete freedom and joy. His punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that he has my best interests always foremost in his mind. If he desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought him happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is his, and if he says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in his eyes, and because of that I hold my head high... .. for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If he says I am his princess, then I am that...regal and graceful. And if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Master wrong?

If he says I am his toy, his slut, his tramp, then I am wanton and dirty as he wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master. My mind is his, to expand, to explore, to know as only he can. I have no secrets from him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly his. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and I do not want walls.

His lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons he has decided I need, and so I learn from him. My soul is his, as bare to his touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel his presence, be he miles away or standing over me.

I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought he puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for his, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.

His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend his time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him. I am his pleasure and his responsibility, and he takes both seriously. I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.

Only to he who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud.

I am a submissive woman.

Seeking Spanking

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"For women the best aphrodisiacs are words,
The G-spot is in the ears"~Isabel Allende

Things I Had To Hide
Click Here To Enter

Long Stories


Shaking the Family Tree Chapter I
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter II
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter III
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter IV
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter V
Shaking the Family Tree -The Music Lover

Conjuring Adonis I
Conjuring Adonis II
Conjuring Adonis III
Conjuring Adonis IV

Dream Lover I
Dream Lover II
Dream Lover III

Vlad's Lesson Plan
Vlad's Next Semester
Vlad's Final Lesson
Vlad's Beginning
Vlad's Resurrection Part 1
Vlad's Resurrection Part II

The Libertine of Libby Part 1
The Libertine of Libby Part 2
The Libertine of Libby Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 4
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 1
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 2
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 5
The Libertine of Libby Part 6
The Libertine of Libby Part 7
The Libertine of Libby Part 8
The Libertine of Libby Part 9
The Libertine of Libby Part 10 (Last Chapter)

j's Seduction
j's Objectification
Recreating j
Educating j

The Photo Shoot Part 1
The Photo Shoot Part 2

Electra's Story Part 1
Electra's Story Part 2

Sunday's Child Part 1

Short Stories
(For those seeking immediate gratification)

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The Book
De Sade, the Orgy and the Trial
I Cum In Peace
Biting My Way Into The New Year
Her Master's Test
Off White, Six Defective Doms and One Pathetic Troll
Going Postal
The New Year's Party

Nocturnal Events
Nocturnal Emissions
Love's Garden
Patty On A Leash/Re-written
To Confess or Not To confess
Binding of Kay
Raising Bella Donna
One Last Good-bye
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Sub
Stella In The Stacks
Red Rain
Breakfast With A Twist
Mon Couer's Papillon (My Heart's Butterfly)
When Daddy's Girl is Bad
The Sitter, The Voyeur and Graduation Day
Please Don't Hurt Me
Cumalot or Knights In Tarnished Armor
Her Halloween Date
His Voice
Life's Little Ironies
The Gift
My Slut ester
Playing With Toyosi
The Slave Auction
#9 - A Detective Story

Ramblings and Observations
(For those who want a piece of My mind)

Puppy Love
Cunniliguis As A Religious Rite
Players, Pretenders and Abusers
Edgeplay and the Knife
My Youth
BDSM Website Security
On Missing Play
Beads a Semi-Fictional Account
Playing With Toyosi or How To Torture A Scammer
Hospital Stories

Photo Interpretations
(As I See It)
La Image'
La Image' II
The Shower
My Toy
Daddy's Girl
Chocolate and Roses
Special Delivery
Waiting II
Edge Play
This Flesh
Not Watching
Tango 2
Inside of You
Mentally bound
His Flower
Her Grief

Poetry of a sort
(very little rhymes)

Faded Words on Yellowing Paper
I Was
submissive position

Ladies of the Night

Bedtime Stories
My Love Fable
Pond of Sorrow and Tears
The Journey

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Extreme Body Modification
(Warning some of these photos may offend, even people with twisted minds)


(They May Spank You For Viewing)

Married Man's Fucktoy
Now Tease Me
Incubus Dreams
Peep Show Stories
Annie's Spanking Good Blog
Vue du dedans
Dee Reawakening
Polyfetishist Directory
The Abyss
Mostly Appropriate
Shadow Of A Soul
Liz Vicious Fan Site
La Libertine's Salon
T of Reknin Day
Siren's Song
The Ties That Bind
Mistress Matisse's Journal
3xL : Lust, Love & Latex
Sensual Liberation Army
News For Perverts
The Spanking Blog
Art Of Love
Spanking Art
Pillow Book

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