THIS MATERIAL MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR THOSE UNDER 18.
So if you are under 18, a right wing republican christian or anyone else who is offended by nudity, vulgarity and/or a wanton disrespect for societal norms, consider yourself warned and leave. Oh and might I add, "If thine eyes offend thee, PLUCK THEM OUT". Just don't complain!


~The more defects a man may have, the older he is, the less lovable, the more resounding his success.~
Marquis de Sade


"Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag - and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down - I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. 'Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed? Did he know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment. That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. " from The Libertine and the bottom of Nic's dark soul.

There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.
~Antonin Artaud

I hurt myself today.....to see if i still feel......I focus on the pain......the only thing thats real......The needle tears a hole.....the old familiar sting........try to kill it all away..........but I remember everything........what have I become, my sweetest friend .........everyone i know, goes away in the end.......and you could have it all, my empire of dirt........I will let you down..........I will make you hurt..........I wear this crown of thorns.....upon my liars chair......full of broken thoughts.........I cannot repair..........beneath the stains of time........the feelings dissapear.......you are someone else..........I am still right here.........What have I become, my sweetest friend..........everyone I know, goes away in the end...........and you could have it all, my empire of dirt..........I will let you down............I will make you hurt...........if I could start again, a million miles away..........I will keep myself..........I would find a way.......NINE INCH NAILS







Sunday, July 03, 2005
My Youth



Dominant. That is Dominant, which is thought of, as ruling or commanding, or as uppermost  To exert the supreme determining or guiding influence(Webster’s).

Bondage. Servitude (Webster’s)
Discipline.  To correct behavior by punishment in some manner through pain or denial (Webster’sSadism. A condition in which sexual gratification comes from inflicting pain on others (Webster’s)
Masochism. A condition in which sexual gratification is marked by pleasure in being subjected to physical pain or abuse (Webster’s)
submissive. One who gives into or surrenders to another’s authority (Webster’s)

This is the story of My youth. It is written that “God created man in his own image.”. He gave us free will to separate us from the animals and he cast us out of Paradise for executing our free will. God was obviously not Dominant and man was obviously not submissive. Since that time the human race has evolved into genetic mess. Confused by religion and morality that justifies punishing in God’s name, and frowns on punishing for pleasure. Does this mean that God and his chosen few derive no pleasure from punishment; then why do they do it?

DeSade was a royal in France, who derived sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on others. Deemed a madman by the Catholic church he was imprisoned in an asylum for his acts. DeSade could be imprisoned but not his mind. He wrote and shared his perverse thoughts with French society both polite and crude. By the time the church finally silenced him, he had unleashed man’s imagination and wanton desire. There are those who say that the church (seeing how lucrative it could be) actually went on to publish and distribute his manuscripts. I imagine the confessionals became much more entertaining to the priest as a result of these publications.Thank God for DeSade.

I was born centuries later. In the “New World”. I was not born in polite society. I was born in the working class. I lived in a family of four, in a middle class community and even went to Sunday school at a Congregationalist church. One of my earliest memories is receiving a Bible as a reward for attendance and then using it to hit the girl in the pew in front of me. I left the church soon afterwards; I had graduated.

Other early memories included being beaten by my father with a belt (on most occasions) at the bequest of my mother. My parents should be described and even thanked in some manner. Dad was an aircraft mechanic who worked for a defense contractor during the day and was relegated to working on the family home at night. His wife/my mother was his Domme (quite without knowing it). She punished him in every manner she could (humiliation being her forte’) up until his death. Though they fought regularly they could never separate or divorce; “because of the kids” was the reason they contrived. In fact it was because they were made for each other, they derived pleasure from the misery they created. I learned two things from them; it was better to beat than be beaten, and that was what they must have meant by “for the kids”. My sister grew up to be a cop (cuffs run in the family) and a born again Lutheran . I went down a different path.

Early on I started playing with whips; two large leather bull whips hung in our garage. Heavy and long I could make them crack by the time I was 10. My sexual curiosity (which began much earlier , around 5 I think, when I desired my teacher and one of my playmates) and desire made me want to take chances. I remember the day Disneyland opened; my fathers company had an a huge picnic outside the gates. To entertain the crowd, there were women dancing the Can-Can; after each dance the women would disappear behind the curtain and go to a tent to change. A friend and I found our way under the stage to the tent and then found a slit in the tent to look through. The first naked women I had seen; women that were mature with large full breast. Breast that were white and large with red nipples, my desire to touch, to suck to bite was aroused.

I became a voyeur. Sneaking peaks from a far, I watched my babysitter (the teenage girl next door) disrobe through her bedroom window. I would stand on chairs in my darkened window or go outside and climb up on the roof to peer down. If I was extremely lucky her mother would appear half naked, this was far more entertaining than television. It became an obsession and it grew..

As I matured my sister (a year younger than myself) did too. One day I entered her room without knocking to find her and a girlfriend naked. The girlfriend (age 12) said “Come in..”, and I did. I stood there staring at her budding breast as she moved closer. Her bare pussy, still hairless with-in reach, she asked me to get undressed and I did. Never before had I seen so much so close, and wanted so much more. I stood there, naked my cock growing as she touched me. “You’re not as big as Kennny (the teen age boy at least 16 two doors down)”, she remarked. Maybe I wasn’t, but I was big enough. She brought my cock to her pussy; I had no idea what to do. It throbbed in her hand as she brought me inside of her, all I could do is hope she didn’t realize how inept and inexperienced I was. Just as I felt her wetness envelope me she pulled back and said, “I have to go home.” . She dressed and walked out the door, leaving me standing with my hard-on. In the mean time my sister sat there fully naked. She stared at my erect cock; unlike her friend she had no experience. We went to the floor; I spread her legs and then her pussy with my fingers. I touched her; I felt her wetness and wanted to enter her. I brought my cock down on her and began to penetrate, but I could not fully enter. Her cherry remained in tact, as did my frustration.  Unfortunately she had no concept of her body, she approached my mother concerned that I may have gotten her pregnant.

I walked into a barrage of hands as they grabbed me and pushed me down on my bed. His belt held high, the same question asked each time it came down; “How could you?”. It made no difference that I couldn’t, in the eyes of all, I had. My sister knew what she had done; in her ignorance she had betrayed me. She was given a remedial education regarding sex and then understood that I hadn’t cum, so there could be no pregnancy. I was always suspect after that, but only with my sister, not the friends she brought in to play with. The 1950’s ended as I began high school, up to this point I had only played with the sweet innocents of youth. It was all an experiment then. Discovery; my cock, a girls pussy, the secrets I had not been told about, but found out about through trial and error.

When I entered high school things changed dramatically; I discovered older women, married women with appetites unsatisfied by their husbands. Their appetites made them want and mine made it easy to give. They would take Me in cars, on stairwells anywhere there was privacy. They taught me to touch, to rub, and to pinch and bite those tasty places scattered over their supple bodies. They taught Me about the female body, the clitoris, the labia the entire anatomy of what had once been “a pussy”. I learned to do things with my finger/s that could open the floodgates of wetness and desire. That once her legs were spread for me I could bring fingers into play and at times even my hand or fist. And the wetness increased, and the smell of those wet pussies entered me and I found that the taste of a woman was one of my greatest delights. My mouth would come down on them, my tongue parting the lips (labial) running along the sides, nipping occasionally and then up to find the clit, that key to their happiness as well as mine. I would draw it in; sucking at first gently feeling it increase in size just as my cock did. I would hear the moans and feel the body writhe beneath me. Sometimes they would put their hands on the back of my head and press it closer; sometimes thighs would squeeze together as the flow of their fluids was released. This was my education; these were my roots and they were planted hard and fast in a world that knew no meaning to “deviant” and was only satiated by the desire for pleasure.

Posted at 08:53 pm by BondageMaster

Css
August 20, 2006   01:16 PM PDT
 
Such an erotic education yet where in this is the One who owns, who takes, who consumes?
 

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My Extended Profile


I have been both a Master and Dom in the BDSM lifestyle for 40 years. I am currently in Sin City, (Las Vegas, Nevada), but I have plied my art all over the country and yes, the giving of pain and pleasure is an art.

I started this because I thought there might be an interaction between myself and like minded individuals, but found most willing to look and not speak; for this reason I have eliminated the tag board and your ability to comment (Consider yourself gagged).

My Blog has become a reflective self analysis and has enabled Me to vent. It has reflected on my childhood, BDSM and it has been a place to share poetry, stories, and art; all erotic in their own way

Having written here for over three years, I realized that I wanted this to be the home of My impure thoughts and deeds; I decided to create another home for the menusha that comes to mind. I created Alt-Thinkining for those who have an interest in my political and social side and who might be appauled or offended by My more carnal thoughts (I love My carnal thoughts ).

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Dominant

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent,or wiser. I do not dominate because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.



I am your Master only after earning your trust and and embracing your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.



You are a woman. You are not weak and inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind, and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.



We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.



You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present the control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty and the faithfulness of your heart.



You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; You have given me dominance over you.



What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind.

I dominate only because you have allowed me too and when I see you kneel before me, in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women, and all the treasures on the earth. What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.

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And From a Submissive Woman

I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength and wisdom.

He is everything to me, as I am everything to him. His touch awakens me and his thoughts free me. Only in serving him do I find complete freedom and joy. His punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that he has my best interests always foremost in his mind. If he desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought him happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is his, and if he says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in his eyes, and because of that I hold my head high... .. for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If he says I am his princess, then I am that...regal and graceful. And if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Master wrong?

If he says I am his toy, his slut, his tramp, then I am that...as wanton and dirty as he wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master. My mind is his, to expand, to explore, to know as only he can. I have no secrets from him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly his. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and I do not want walls.

His lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons he has decided I need, and so I learn from him. My soul is his, as bare to his touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel his presence, be he miles away or standing over me.

I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought he puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for his, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.

His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend his time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him. I am his pleasure and his responsibility, and he takes both seriously. I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.

Only to he who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud.

I am a submissive woman.


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"For women the best aphrodisiacs are words,
The G-spot is in the ears"~Isabel Allende



Things I Had To Hide
Click Here To Enter


Long Stories

(Series)

Shaking the Family Tree Chapter I
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter II
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter III
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter IV
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter V
Shaking the Family Tree -The Music Lover

Conjuring Adonis I
Conjuring Adonis II
Conjuring Adonis III
Conjuring Adonis IV

Dream Lover I
Dream Lover II
Dream Lover III

Vlad's Lesson Plan
Vlad's Next Semester
Vlad's Final Lesson
Vlad's Beginning
Vlad's Resurrection Part 1
Vlad's Resurrection Part II

The Libertine of Libby Part 1
The Libertine of Libby Part 2
The Libertine of Libby Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 4
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 1
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 2
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 5
The Libertine of Libby Part 6
The Libertine of Libby Part 7
The Libertine of Libby Part 8
The Libertine of Libby Part 9
The Libertine of Libby Part 10 (Last Chapter)

j's Seduction
j's Objectification
Recreating j
Educating j

The Photo Shoot Part 1
The Photo Shoot Part 2

Electra's Story Part 1
Electra's Story Part 2

Sunday's Child Part 1

Short Stories
(For those seeking immediate gratification)

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The Book
Dessert
De Sade, the Orgy and the Trial
I Cum In Peace
Biting My Way Into The New Year
Her Master's Test
Off White, Six Defective Doms and One Pathetic Troll
Going Postal
StepfordSlaves
Liberation
The New Year's Party

Nocturnal Events
Nocturnal Emissions
Death
Love's Garden
Patty On A Leash/Re-written
To Confess or Not To confess
Binding of Kay
Raising Bella Donna
One Last Good-bye
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Sub
Stella In The Stacks
Red Rain
Misjudged
Breakfast With A Twist
Mon Couer's Papillon (My Heart's Butterfly)
When Daddy's Girl is Bad
The Sitter, The Voyeur and Graduation Day
Please Don't Hurt Me
Cumalot or Knights In Tarnished Armor
Her Halloween Date
His Voice
Life's Little Ironies
The Gift
My Slut ester
Beads
Playing With Toyosi
The Slave Auction
#9 - A Detective Story

Ramblings and Observations
(For those who want a piece of My mind)

Puppy Love
Cunniliguis As A Religious Rite
Players, Pretenders and Abusers
Edgeplay and the Knife
My Youth
Submission
BDSM Website Security
Pain
On Missing Play
Beads a Semi-Fictional Account
Playing With Toyosi or How To Torture A Scammer
Hospital Stories


Photo Interpretations
(As I See It)
La Image'
La Image' II
The Shower
Lips
My Toy
Waiting
Daddy's Girl
Blossom
Chocolate and Roses
Special Delivery
Waiting II
Orgasm
Edge Play
Cocktails
This Flesh
Smoke
Eve
Illusion
Disillusion
Passion
Watching
Not Watching
Intimacy
Tango 2
Inside of You
Dreamscape
Demons
Despair
Spent
Mentally bound
His Flower
Her Grief

Poetry of a sort
(very little rhymes)

Tango
Shadows
Faded Words on Yellowing Paper
I Was
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Bound
Ladies of the Night





Bedtime Stories
(Fables)
My Love Fable
Pond of Sorrow and Tears
The Journey


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Extreme Body Modification
(Warning some of these photos may offend, even people with twisted minds)


Links


(They May Spank You For Viewing)



Married Man's Fucktoy
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Peep Show Stories
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Vue du dedans
Dee Reawakening
Polyfetishist Directory
The Abyss
Mostly Appropriate
Shadow Of A Soul
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Liz Vicious Fan Site
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