So if you are under 18, a right wing republican christian or anyone else who is offended by nudity, vulgarity and/or a wanton disrespect for societal norms, consider yourself warned and leave. Oh and might I add, "If thine eyes offend thee, PLUCK THEM OUT". Just don't complain!

~The more defects a man may have, the older he is, the less lovable, the more resounding his success.~
Marquis de Sade

"Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag - and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down - I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. 'Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed? Did he know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment. That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. " from The Libertine and the bottom of Nic's dark soul.

There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.
~Antonin Artaud

I hurt myself see if i still feel......I focus on the pain......the only thing thats real......The needle tears a hole.....the old familiar sting........try to kill it all away..........but I remember everything........what have I become, my sweetest friend .........everyone i know, goes away in the end.......and you could have it all, my empire of dirt........I will let you down..........I will make you hurt..........I wear this crown of thorns.....upon my liars chair......full of broken thoughts.........I cannot repair..........beneath the stains of time........the feelings are someone else..........I am still right here.........What have I become, my sweetest friend..........everyone I know, goes away in the end...........and you could have it all, my empire of dirt..........I will let you down............I will make you hurt...........if I could start again, a million miles away..........I will keep myself..........I would find a way.......NINE INCH NAILS

Sunday, January 20, 2013
The Book

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Oscar Wilde wrote,“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” She found him in her dreams and it was his desire to keep her there; to keep her from the reality that came with the dawn.

It happened as it so often does when she fell asleep while reading. The story had drawn her in; she saw herself in the female character; a confident woman caught up in a tawdry affair with a man that most sane women would run from, but like the woman in the story she felt drawn to him. She had only read the first two chapters, but enough to know (or thought she knew) where it was going. In the story they had planned a meeting and he had just opened the door to his room, when her eyes closed and she found herself at the threshold of the door. He stood on the other side, “How did you get away?” he asked.

“I told him, I was going on a business trip; as if it made any difference. Sometimes I feel like he is oblivious to my whereabouts even when I am in the same room.”

“He’s a fool, but you are here now” He pulled her through the door and closed it behind her. His hand was at the back of her head guiding her to the bed. Once there he lowered her down to the mattress, and brought his mouth to hers. She felt her heart race with the force of the kiss.

“I don’t want to lose him; he’s been good to me and a good father. It’s just…..”

“Just what; boring; bland; tedious; tiresome, shall I go on?”

She frowned and lowered her head, “No, I don’t want to think about it or about what I am about to do. I don’t want to talk; that’s all we do at home. I want tonight to be about me; to feel like the woman I want to be instead of the one I’ve become.”

“But it is about you and only you. I’m not being paid to be here and God knows if it was just about getting a piece of ass; I could pick up a hooker for a third of what this room is costing me. I’m here because we connected and the more I knew of your desires; the more I knew I wanted you.”

“But what about my baggage?”

“You left that at the door, because I wouldn’t allow you to bring it in”. As he was speaking, he was removing her blouse and pushing the clasp on her bra together to more easily unhook it. As the clasp separated her full breasts fell from their cups. She was young enough that they were still firm, but her nipples had fed her children and had that darker blush that comes with nursing. She found she was still able to lactate if she paid attention to them and squeezed them gently, but had lost the desire as her husband had no interest. This was not the case with the man in the room

Once her breasts were free, he brought his mouth to one nipple and began sucking while squeezing the other nipple and as he sucked at her tender bud, she felt her body respond and brought her hand to the back of his head. Her other nipple began to weep its content while her cunt grew wetter with her anticipation. A moan escaped her lips and his sucking became more intense; it wasn’t the same sensation she experienced when feeding her babies. It wasn’t that gentle suckling by a baby's toothless mouth; it was harder, intense, and on occasion she could feel the sharp edge of his teeth as it brushed her tender tips. A second moan was let and he released his grip; only to push her torso down and pulled her skirt, slip and panties off. She was now naked except for her heels, “You can leave your shoes on; it’s kind of slutty and extremely hot.” His hands were on the inside of her thighs spreading them.

She watched and momentarily thought about resisting, but knew that it would be no more than a feeble attempt at propriety when in her heart she wanted to shed her morality which had been forced on her first by her parents and then by the father of her children who had repeatedly denied her desire to put spice into their love making. This man was almost a complete stranger and yet he knew those desires more than her husband did. His hand slid up her leg and his fore finger found her cunt’s lips; they were extremely wet. Her wetness was like a silky gel; allowing him to slide that finger and another into her; there was no hesitation and on her part only acceptance, the product of want and desire or in her case wanton desire. There was a confidence in his motions, as if he owned her body and was entitled to have it anyway he chose. He stopped; tasted her; smiled and then resumed. “I’ve been waiting for you, anticipating this moment.” She barely heard his words as sensations and thoughts flashed behind her closed eyes. She felt her surrender and climax, before she realized they had occurred and then as she swam in her sexual delirium, his fingers slipped from their warm wet pocket. Her eyes parted and she watched as his pants dropped to the floor, exposing his engorged cock.

She stared, fixated on his male member while he took her calves in hand pulling her body to the edge of the bed. Once positioned to his liking he raised her legs and spread them; her pussy opened as if to invite the stranger in and while she raised her eyes to see his face smiling down at her; he pressed his cock into her with a hard thrust. Her eyes closed as she felt him bring it out and then thrust it in again. Her legs were pushed back and spread until her feet were almost parallel wither head, but she didn’t notice or mind, because all she could feel or focus on were his repeated strokes; each one seeming to drive the head of his cock deeper than the last and touching a portion of her open cunt which had never been touched before. She could feel her climax coming and tried to stop it, but it was there and there was no stopping it. She moaned aloud as the waves of pleasure washed over her pushing her sweet fluids over his invading cock. “I will let you have that one, but next time you will need my permission or there will be no next time.” She groaned and nodded in acceptance of his demand.

He continued pressing into her, until her pleasure demanded that she ask, to prevent the in evitable from happening. “Please may I cum?”

She expected permission and was fighting to hold her orgasm back, while waiting for his response, but the response she got was not the response she wanted or needed. “Not yet”, was all he said as he increased the rapidity and pressure of his strokes. She kept trying to control it, but knew that in a matter of seconds she would no longer be able to control her desire.

“I’m begging you, please” He could tell that if he didn’t allow it, she would anyway and in doing so end what promised to be a good if not great experience.

“Then do it, cum now!” He commanded as he thrust himself deep inside of her. He felt the contraction of her release and then several more lighter contractions and with each came a soft moan. She felt his cock slide from her body as her cum dripped from her cunt and thought he had finished with her so relaxed into a short lived space filled with nothing but her own pleasure. Short lived, because it seemed like seconds had passed when he grabbed her by the thigh and rolled her onto her stomach. Her toes were just able to touch the floor, preventing her from sliding off the bed, but her toes were not the only thing preventing her fall. He stepped up behind her spread her legs with his feet, pressed down on her back with one hand as the other was pressed between her pussy’s lips while her cum still oozed from it.“You have been neglected two long” he said as he drug his wet fingers between her lips and then between her ass cheeks, bringing one finger down to her brown button and pressing. She squirmed in response, but didn’t utter a word (not even NO).

With cock in hand he drug it between her lips, teasing her, then he pressed his finger against her tight anus again and again she squirmed without saying a word. With a thrust like an assassin’s blade he shoved his cock into her pussy and began fucking her and again the stimulation filled her to the point of a climax. “Please Sir, may I cum”, he didn’t respond but continued his merciless attack on her cunt. “Please sir” again she begged, but his response remained the same. By now she was writhing under him, unable to climax without his consent and afraid that she would.

“You want to cum and I want something too; simply give me what I want and I’ll allow it.” He told her. She nodded in agreement pushing back on his cock to take in it’s full measure. “Cum, Cum now” he commanded and he felt her contract, but this time as she shoved against him he pulled his cock out of her pussy and in a fluid motion plunged it between the crack of her ass straight through the little brown gate. She didn’t feel it coming and was so relaxed after her last orgasm that the pain though there, was minor. He began fucking her ass with a new enthusiasm as she relaxed and began responding. Her experience was limited, but she enjoyed it and pushed back with his every stroke.

Now he had clinched the flesh on either hip in his hands and was pulling her back, she felt his cock growing and she began to let out a cry, but he brought a hand to her mouth and stifled it just as he released himself in her and collapsed on top of her.

“Mommy, I’m hungry”, it was her daughter’s voice, but how could that be. “Mommy, I want my cereal” the voice continued and then she felt her shoulder being shaken by her daughter’s small hand. She opened her eyes disoriented and found herself on the couch. The book was lying on her lap, upside down and opened. When she picked it up she saw a noticeable wet spot .

“Go to the kitchen and I’ll be there in a minute”. She watched her pajama clad baby toddle off toward the kitchen and brought her hand down under her waistband of her shorts to her pussy. The wet spot was minor compared to the wetness she found between her legs. “Wow, what a dream; what a fucking dream” she thought and smiled. She sat up and noticed her body ached as if she had been working out, but got up all the same and went into the bathroom. She turned on the light, dropped her shorts and panties and sat on the toilet to pee. She dried her pussy and stood in front of the mirror looking at her shaved cunt and noticed bruising on each hip. The bruising looked like four small spots on either side; much like finger tips. “Oh my god, what the fuck happened”

“Mommy!!” she heard her daughter say in a louder voice from the kitchen. She picked up the shorts and panties and threw them in the hamper as she pulled out the broom skirt she had worn the previous day. Once dressed she went to the kitchen where her daughter was seated and mindlessly pulled the box of cereal from the cupboard, got a bowl and spoon and then put them on the table and then retrieved the milk from the refrigerator. Once her daughter’s cereal was ready she put everything back in its place and started the coffee. She could hear other footsteps on the stairs and soon her other daughters entered the kitchen. She fed them without saying a word; her mind was in another place trying to resolve the mysteries of the dream and what she woke to.

“You didn’t come to bed last night” she heard her husband say. Without thinking she turned and told him that she had fallen asleep reading. It was all he needed to know. She poured their coffee and sat down at the breakfast table still distracted. “Are you OK?” her husband asked.

“I’m fine, just recovering from a night on the couch and a strange dream” she responded. Again it was the truth and all she needed to say. “I just haven’t woken up yet, I’ll be OK once I take my shower and wake up”
Her older girls ate their breakfast then grabbed their book bags and kissed their parents good-bye, then rushed out the door to catch the school bus waiting outside. Her youngest daughter got up from the table and went into the living room, turned on the TV and started watching her morning children’s show; while her husband finished his breakfast talking about his work and days appointments. When he was done he got up, kissed her on the forehead and walked out the door. Everything that occurred that morning was a blur and seemed more like a dream than the dream she had awakened from. Once the family was out of the kitchen; she cleared the table; poured another cup of coffee and went to her bathroom; checking on her baby on the way.

Once inside she closed the door and stripped. She stood in front of the full length mirror to better examine her body. Besides the bruising on her hips she noticed her nipples were reddened and crusted. She had experienced that same crusting when she had been nursing her children, but that hadn’t been done for over two years. It was all a bit unnerving and she was a little shaken as she entered the shower. The water was a hot as it ran over her body and as she washed her hair; she convinced herself that the simplest explanation was that she had an erotic dream and had responded to it physically and that the reddened nipples and crusting was due to them rubbing against her shirt as she slept. She washed her breasts and thought about the dream; then brought the suds down to her pussy and bathed it, but was aroused as she thought about her dream lover’s cock inside of her. She let her fingers rub her clit and eventually came with his face in her mind and didn’t cum until she heard him say it was allowed.

When she exited the bathroom, she had convinced herself that the events of the night were no more than the result of an erotic dream brought on by her sexual frustration and praised herself for her vivid imagination. She dressed herself and then her daughter. She took her daughter to her daycare, went shopping, worked out and then went home to straighten the house and make some business calls. Her routine fell into place after a shaky start and she all but forgot about the dream as the day went on. When the time came she picked up her youngest from the daycare center and then picked up her other girls from school. She listened to them talk about their day on the way home and once home helped them with their homework when asked as her little one played in the living room. Dinner was served once her husband was home; the usual chatter occurred at the table and when t was over her oldest helped her clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Everything was once again normal.

It was 10:00 o’clock when her husband got up from his desk and announced he was going to bed; he gave her that familiar kiss on the forehead as he said good-night and advised her not to stay up too late. She told him she’d read a bit and be right up and then picked up her book and opened it to the page she had read right before falling asleep. As she scanned the page she began to think that she had mismarked it. Every event from her dream was chronicled right up to the point that she had awakened from. “Wow, no wonder the dream was so vivid” she thought as she read about the torrid love making. When she began reading beyond that point; she found the heroine had returned to her lover’s room and was standing outside the door staring at it with concerns about reentering. She had cheated on her husband once and gotten away with it, but was now concerned that continuing the affair was morally wrong and might ruin her marriage. As she read about the character’s concerns, she hoped or rather knew that the woman in the story would knock. The woman in the story knocked and the door opened. He was standing there shirtless and shoeless; took her hand and pulled her through the door then closed it. He reached out grabbed her by the hair and pulled her mouth to his. The kiss was hot and hard; their mouths locked his tongue invading her open mouth and then his teeth nibbling on her lower lip.

He unbuttoned her blouse, and removed her bra as they kissed. Her breasts were rubbing against the soft hair on his chest and her nipples hardened. He stepped back, reached down to the elastic band on her skit and pushed both the skirt and the thong she had on to the floor. She stepped out of them and he once again pulled her body against his and as they kissed she felt his right hand slide down her body, over her pussy as she instinctually spread her legs. She was already very wet as his fingers found their way inside of her. “Good girl, my girl” he said. He allowed her to climax and felt the flow at his finger tips then shared her nectar with her. “Your juices are like honey on my tongue’ he said as he pushed her down on the bed and began drinking from her soft sweet cunt as his hands kneaded her breasts and squeezed her nipples.

He nibbled at her lips and ran his tongue up until it reached her clit which she sucked into his mouth as her body shivered. He sucked and let his tongue play with the pink pearl captured inside until she begged to cum. He again allowed it, so that he could capture every bit of it and drink it in. Her climax was hard and her juices kept flowing over his tongue and down his throat. His hardened cock had been idle long enough he told her as he once again lifted and spread her legs.

It found its mark without hesitation as he plunged it into her and began raping that which was his. Again his thrust were hard and she could feet it rubbing against that spot hidden deep inside of her. She brought her legs even higher until her ankles rested on his shoulders. Her pleasure was increasing as she wrapped the sheets in her hands. This time she didn’t ask, but instead he demanded that she cum and she did without hesitation. When he felt her release he came deep inside of her. She felt his explosion on top of her own and knew that she had pleased him. He spent himself and then slid down her body to capture their comingled juices in his mouth; once done he brought his to hers and fed them to her so that she might share their honey. His body was laying on top of hers, their mouths locked in passion when a knock at the door interrupted them.

She heard her husband’s voice outside the door, “You fell asleep again, come to bed where you belong.”

Her lover held her down a while longer, looked in her eye and said, “You belong to me, and this is where you belong”

“I have to go or else he’ll suspect something” she whimpered, “But I’ll come back” she said as her body began to shake. She opened her eyes to find her husband standing in his pajama bottoms shaking her shoulder.”

“That must be some story; you were drooling and talking in your sleep” She brought her hand to the corner of her mouth and felt the sticky fluid, then touched it to her tongue; it wasn’t drool, but tasted much like her cum and that of a man.

“Let me brush my teeth and wash my mouth out; I imagine my breath is horrible” He agreed, but told her to come to bed without anymore reading. When she entered the bathroom, she checked her pussy and found it dripping wet and tender to her touch. She tasted the fluid and it was the same she had found at the corner of her mouth. “How “, she uttered before grabbing the toothbrush and brushing her teeth.

The whole time she brushed, she heard her lover’s voice in her head saying over and over, “you belong to me and this is where you belong” She put down the toothbrush, washed her pussy and went to her bedroom.

Her husband was in bed, but told her to put on her nightgown and get in bed. She did as told and laid on her side of the bed untouched. Then she moved closer to him and turned towards him. “Make love to me?” she asked.

He rolled towards her, “What’s gotten you all aroused, is that book one of those female love stories? If you want to make love come to bed earlier; it’s late now and I have to work in the morning” He kissed her forehead and rolled toward the edge of the bed while she laid there shocked and hurt by his response. She rolled towards the opposite side of the bed without saying a word and drifted off to sleep; her lover’s words “you belong to me” in her ear.

Even with the book sitting on the couch, she was drawn back to his room as she slept. The door was open and when she walked though it, she found him naked waiting for her. “I’m glad you came back, it means you know your place.” She nodded and approached him with head down. He raised her chin and she found herself staring deeply into his eyes. As apparently hard as he was, she saw something in his eyes that made her smile. “That’s the smile I wanted to see; I don’t want you fearing me, because you have nothing to fear. No matter what you must understand that you are safe with me; it allows you more freedom to experience those things you want.” She nodded; she knew that no matter how strange their encounters seemed that it was all for her. He took her to the bed and laid her on it, then lifted her night gown to expose her breasts. His mouth was warm as he took her nipple into it and began sucking; instinctively she reached under it and as he sucked she began massaging it to stimulate her milk. He was taking her milk just as her girls had, but there was something different about it. It was erotic beyond anything she had ever imagined and every fiber of her body responded. Her free hand grabbed the sheet and her legs spread readying herself for him and as he continued to drain her she felt his hand slide down her body until he felt her wetness. His cock had become stiff and had no difficulty sliding into her wet cunt. He took her slowly as if he knew that in another reality there was some someone else, somewhere else lying next to her and he didn’t want that person waking to take her away again.

His body pressed against hers, his torso raised just enough to grind his hips while binding her hands with his own and keeping her legs spread with his. She felt controlled yet freer than she had ever felt before as he pushed his cock deep inside of her. Her moan was soft and low as her pleasure mounted, just as she was about to ask, she heard him say “Now” and the wave of pleasure she had held inside suddenly was released and as it was she felt his own pushed out. He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her softly. “You must go now, but I will see you soon and when you return it our union will be forever” He left the bed as she swam in the aftermath of their sex, images coming and going behind closed eyes.

When she opened her eyes, she was startled to find her husband lying next to her on his side propped up on one elbow. “That must have been some dream; I hope I was in it because you sounded much like you do when we have sex”. She looked at him and denied remembering her dream. “Well it must not have been that good then.” He grinned and turned the blanket down rubbing her breasts, but she brushed his hand away. “You wanted me last night, what changed?”

“I have to feed the girls” she said as she turned and sat on the side of the bed.

“Maybe tonight you’ll feel differently” he said as he stood and walked to the bathroom. She watched the door close behind him and stood, only to feel wetness on her leg. She knew it was their mixed fluids and put her hand to her pussy and then to her mouth. It was that same taste she had on her lips just before turning in. When he came out she ran in before a trail could be left. “You are acting strange, is there something I should know?”
“Only that I have to pee, you can watch if you want”
“That’s alright, I’ll forgo the pleasure”
She had counted on his prudish behavior and wasn’t disappointed. Once everyone was fed and off to school, except her little one; she grabbed the book and looked at the jacket. She wanted to find out more about the author, but the jacket gave her no more than his name and publisher. She went to her computer and Googled the title; finding a few reviews, but no one mentioned experiences like hers. Next she looked up the author and found that this was the only book he had written. She read a bio that said he lived in the Northwest, but traveled a great deal of the time. When she searched for an image it came as no surprise that the picture was of the same man she had seen in her dreams. She sat staring at the photo, wondering how she knew him; knowing there had to be an explanation.

She had purchased the book from a small bookstore in the old town area called Wellspring Books, it wasn’t a Banes and Noble by any stretch of the imagination; in fact it was better known for its psychic readings and paraphernalia than its selection and she had only gone in out of curiosity than a desire to have her palm read. It was the owner that greeted her; they talked a little while and then she recommended the book. Why the woman recommended it she couldn’t remember, nor why she bought it, but maybe the mystery could be solved by returning to the beginning. She put the book in her purse, dressed her little one and dropped her off at the day care and then drove to the store.

“You probably don’t remember me; I came in a few months back and you recommended that I read this book” she said with book in hand. “I was wondering why?”

“Didn’t you like it? I just felt that it was something you would like”

“No I like it, but it’s just that…” she hesitated trying to decide just how much she should tell her. “It’s just that I think I’ve met the author, and want to contact him” That was after all what she wanted to do. “I was wondering if you knew how I could do that” The owner smiled, as if she knew something that hadn’t been revealed and led her to her office in the back. There were Psychic Fair posters on the wall and stacks of charts and books on top of the filing cabinets. The owner opened her desk drawer and pulled out an address book.

“Most people who come to me want to contact someone they loved, who has now passed on. It’s a bit more difficult to contact the dead than the living if you know where to look. When I received the book you bought there was a card inside; it was the only copy I received. Sometimes publishers will send a promotional copy in hopes of selling more and include contact information in the event a store wants to have the author visit to do a reading. I started to read the book, but realized it probably wouldn’t sell to my regular clientele. To tell you the truth I can’t remember much about our conversation, but something told me this book would be something you should have.” She handed her the card. It simply said “To contact the author’s representative” and gave a number. “I hope it helps you find him”

She put the card in the book and returned it to her purse, then thanked the owner and left. She drove home and took the book out, removing the card and sat on the couch. There was a knot in her stomach and her heart pounded in her chest. It was the way she felt in her first dream as she stood outside his door contemplating on whether she should enter his room. She had taken that step, which ultimately had brought her to this point so she grabbed her cell phone and nervously dialed the number. A woman answered.

“I’m interested in interviewing the author of “The Man of Your Dreams” was all she said and to her surprise the woman on the other end gave her a phone number and address. He was in Los Angeles, about six hours away. Her adrenaline was in control now as if she was in a race with the finish line in front of her. She dialed his number. When he answered her heart pounded so hard she almost couldn’t speak; it was the voice of her lover.

“Hello” he repeated, bringing her back to reality. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’d like to meet you. I mean I’d like to meet with you and discuss your book”

“Are you a reviewer?”

She contemplated the lie she had told the woman on the phone and decided the lie would never work, but didn’t want to tell him her story on the phone. “No, I’m not a reviewer, but need to talk to you about it.” There was urgency in her voice.

“Come to me on Saturday, I’m staying at the Bonaventure on Figueroa, room 1123. I’ll be available after five if you can make it” She hesitated again. “Will that work for you?” he asked.

“Yes, I just need to make arrangements” That was an understatement. She would have to come up with a reason why she was going to Los Angeles and tell her husband the greatest lie she would ever tell him. The call ended and she sat on the couch contemplating what she was going to say first to her husband and then to the author. Her nerves were shredded and her desire was the only thing that allowed her to go on. She packed an overnight bag and laid out the clothing she would wear. She knew that she had to go and that to turn back now wasn’t a consideration she could entertain. She called the airline and made a round trip reservation leaving Saturday and returning on Sunday. She knew that she had to return.

She picked up her girls as she did every day and followed her daily routine preparing dinner in anticipation of her husband coming home. When he came through the door he saw the overnight bag next to the door and the garment bag hanging on a hook next to the closet door. “Where are you going?” She wasn’t quite sure how it was going to go, but told him that she had been asked to visit a contact her business had made in L.A. It wasn’t the first time she had made a trip of this sort, but usually the planning was made well in advance and her husband was aware of it. “Kind of short notice isn’t it? She was ready for that question too.

“Jack was going, but he has the flu and asked me to make the trip. I called the contact and he said he’d make time for me Saturday afternoon; I’ll be back on Sunday. I figured you could handle the girls for a weekend, but if you can’t I’ll call my mom”

“I can handle the girls; I just wasn’t expecting a packed bag when I walked through the door. Do what you need to do, we’ll be fine.”

That night she fought the urge to pick up the book, but was afraid what the next and final chapter would reveal. Instead she sat with the family and told her husband that she wanted to review the presentation her partner had emailed her. He told her not to stay up too late and went to bed. She sat in their office on the computer trying to find out anything she could about the author. He was an older man, married and divorced twice. He wasn’t a celebrity in the literary community and hadn't a following that was visible. When she went to bed; she didn’t know any more about him than she did before.

Her husband was fast asleep when she crawled into bed and she felt that was a blessing. She closed her eyes and found herself in the hallway outside her lover’s door. The door opened and he took her hand. “I know you’re nervous, but you know you belong here” he told her as he sat her on the bed. “I want you; the story is about you” His hands were at the sides of her face. She looked into his eyes and all her fears vanished. He stood her up and removed her clothing, then nodded in approval. “You are everything I ever wanted” he said as he ran his hands down her body. He had her turn and face the bed; she heard him undress as she stood where he had placed her and then felt his warm body against her back as he wrapped his arms around her caressing her breasts. She anticipated his every move as his fingers squeezed at her nipples. “I want to devour you; ravage you in ways you can’t imagine, but want. You need do nothing, but serve me and I will love you as you have never been loved” He kissed her neck and then bit gently on her shoulder. She felt her knees buckle, but he held her up. She could feel his cock swell as it pressed against her ass. She felt him step away and heard a drawer open and then he returned. “I want to blindfold you, would you like that?” She nodded and when the blindfold was in place had visions of herself standing there with him behind her as if she had stepped out of her body and was no more than a voyeur watching. “Now be a good girl and bend over he said as he pressed against her back. She bent at the waist and found the bed with her hand. His hands ran down her back causing her to shiver. She stayed as she had been placed, knowing that was her place. She heard him snap something, but had no idea what until she felt his warm hands well lubricated on her ass. He ran one down the fold that hid her tight hole while the other penetrated her already wet cunt. A finger pressed against her anus and then rubbed until she felt the penetration.

“You are mine and your body is mine, am I right?” he asked and without hesitation she nodded without saying a word. It was true, she didn't know when it happened, but at some point she had accepted him as her Master. “Good girl” he said as she felt is cock press into her cunt. He felt large inside of her as he began fucking her with his hands on her hips. He started slowly, but soon was slamming his hips against her ass so hard that with each stroke she felt his balls slap against her clit. Her hands clinched the sheet as her pleasure grew. This was what she wanted; it was passionate and almost carnally animalistic mating. He was mating with her; he was her as a lion would mount a lioness.

Harder, deeper and faster she felt his strokes come until she had to ask, “May I cum?”

“No you may not” His response surprised her, but she held her pleasure in until she felt that without permission she would climax anyway.

“Please Sir, please let me cum”

There was silence for what seemed like an eternity before he said, “Now “and slapped her on the ass. She wasn’t sure, but felt as if the slap triggered her orgasm and made it more intense. As she climaxed he continued fucking her; pumping her harder and harder, then commanded her “Cum again” and slapped her ass again. She had never had the experience before, but within seconds gave in to his command. He continued relentlessly attacking her cunt, forcing orgasm after orgasm and then as she remained bent over almost exhausted; he pulled his cock from her aching pussy and pressed it past her anus. She hadn’t had time to tense up and the lube allowed him to slide past without the tram ash had felt in the past. The pleasure she felt was different and increased by the anticipation of his eventual climax. Then she felt his hand slide down her hip until his finger found her clit and began rubbing. Her knees began to buckle as her pleasure built inside of her. He knew she could not stand much longer and commanded her onto the bed as he followed his cock never leaving her ass. He held her hands in his as she grasped the sheet and when he came she felt him flood her. Then he collapsed on top of her as her visions faded.

“Time to wake up if you plan on catching that flight” her husband said. Her body felt as if she had been working out as she found herself face down on the bed. “You were talking in your sleep, but your face was buried in the pillow so I couldn’t tell what you were saying” The revelation that she was talking made her anxious, but she was relieved that it was muffled. “I’ll let you get ready while I fix the girls breakfast” he said as he exited the bedroom. She rolled over and to no surprise found her pussy to be wet, so wet that a telltale puddle had been left on the sheet beneath her. She got out of the bed and rapidly made it covering up the spot. Then headed to the bathroom and disrobed. She viewed her body in the mirror and noticed that her butt cheek was reddened and when she touched it, felt the residual stickiness that drying lube left. She showered and dressed casually for the flight. Once downstairs she had some toast and juice, then kissed everyone good-bye.

“I’ll call you later, be good girls and don’t be too rough on your dad.” She kissed her husband and felt guilt well inside of her. “I’ll be back tomorrow, try to survive without me and call if you need to find something”

“After 19 years I think I can handle things here without placing a panic call. Enjoy your trip and I’ll see you when you get back” He and the girls followed her to the door and waved good-bye as she drove off. She got to the airport checked in and caught her flight just before it boarded.

Once on the plane she started thinking about her meeting, what it would be like; what she would say. What do you say to someone who has invaded your mind and body for the past week without ever having touched you in reality? She landed and went to her hotel, checked in, laid out her clothes and went down to the hotel restaurant. Her nerves were on end so she ordered a glass of white wine and a salad. The wine was just enough to take the edge off without impairing her. She returned to her room, but couldn't relax so she decided to soak in a hot bath. When she was done; she was considerably more relaxed and began dressing. Without realizing it, she had picked out the same clothing she had been wearing in her first dream. She looked at the clothes and felt it must have been a subconscious effort, more deliberate than she had wanted. Was this a fait accompli? Was she deliberately allowing herself to be seduced by a total stranger? She knew the answer; if it was anything like her dreams then she wanted it.

At five o’clock she found herself standing in the hallway outside of his door. The door opened and he was standing in front of her. “I've been waiting for you” he said as he led her into the room closing the door behind them.

Walt Disney wrote: “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

Posted at 11:53 am by BondageMaster

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My Extended Profile

I have been both a Master and Dom in the BDSM lifestyle for 40 years. I am currently in Sin City, (Las Vegas, Nevada), but I have plied my art all over the country and yes, the giving of pain and pleasure is an art.

I started this because I thought there might be an interaction between myself and like minded individuals, but found most willing to look and not speak; for this reason I have eliminated the tag board and your ability to comment (Consider yourself gagged).

My Blog has become a reflective self analysis and has enabled Me to vent. It has reflected on my childhood, BDSM and it has been a place to share poetry, stories, and art; all erotic in their own way

Having written here for over three years, I realized that I wanted this to be the home of My impure thoughts and deeds; I decided to create another home for the menusha that comes to mind. I created Alt-Thinkining for those who have an interest in my political and social side and who might be appauled or offended by My more carnal thoughts (I love My carnal thoughts ).

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I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent,or wiser. I do not dominate because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and and embracing your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak and inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind, and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present the control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty and the faithfulness of your heart.

You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; You have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind.

I dominate only because you have allowed me too and when I see you kneel before me, in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women, and all the treasures on the earth. What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.

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And From a Submissive Woman

I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength and wisdom.

He is everything to me, as I am everything to him. His touch awakens me and his thoughts free me. Only in serving him do I find complete freedom and joy. His punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that he has my best interests always foremost in his mind. If he desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought him happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is his, and if he says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in his eyes, and because of that I hold my head high... .. for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If he says I am his princess, then I am that...regal and graceful. And if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Master wrong?

If he says I am his toy, his slut, his tramp, then I am wanton and dirty as he wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master. My mind is his, to expand, to explore, to know as only he can. I have no secrets from him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly his. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and I do not want walls.

His lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons he has decided I need, and so I learn from him. My soul is his, as bare to his touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel his presence, be he miles away or standing over me.

I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought he puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for his, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.

His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend his time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him. I am his pleasure and his responsibility, and he takes both seriously. I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.

Only to he who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud.

I am a submissive woman.

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"For women the best aphrodisiacs are words,
The G-spot is in the ears"~Isabel Allende

Things I Had To Hide
Click Here To Enter

Long Stories


Shaking the Family Tree Chapter I
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter II
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter III
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter IV
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter V
Shaking the Family Tree -The Music Lover

Conjuring Adonis I
Conjuring Adonis II
Conjuring Adonis III
Conjuring Adonis IV

Dream Lover I
Dream Lover II
Dream Lover III

Vlad's Lesson Plan
Vlad's Next Semester
Vlad's Final Lesson
Vlad's Beginning
Vlad's Resurrection Part 1
Vlad's Resurrection Part II

The Libertine of Libby Part 1
The Libertine of Libby Part 2
The Libertine of Libby Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 4
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 1
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 2
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 5
The Libertine of Libby Part 6
The Libertine of Libby Part 7
The Libertine of Libby Part 8
The Libertine of Libby Part 9
The Libertine of Libby Part 10 (Last Chapter)

j's Seduction
j's Objectification
Recreating j
Educating j

The Photo Shoot Part 1
The Photo Shoot Part 2

Electra's Story Part 1
Electra's Story Part 2

Sunday's Child Part 1

Short Stories
(For those seeking immediate gratification)

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The Book
De Sade, the Orgy and the Trial
I Cum In Peace
Biting My Way Into The New Year
Her Master's Test
Off White, Six Defective Doms and One Pathetic Troll
Going Postal
The New Year's Party

Nocturnal Events
Nocturnal Emissions
Love's Garden
Patty On A Leash/Re-written
To Confess or Not To confess
Binding of Kay
Raising Bella Donna
One Last Good-bye
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Sub
Stella In The Stacks
Red Rain
Breakfast With A Twist
Mon Couer's Papillon (My Heart's Butterfly)
When Daddy's Girl is Bad
The Sitter, The Voyeur and Graduation Day
Please Don't Hurt Me
Cumalot or Knights In Tarnished Armor
Her Halloween Date
His Voice
Life's Little Ironies
The Gift
My Slut ester
Playing With Toyosi
The Slave Auction
#9 - A Detective Story

Ramblings and Observations
(For those who want a piece of My mind)

Puppy Love
Cunniliguis As A Religious Rite
Players, Pretenders and Abusers
Edgeplay and the Knife
My Youth
BDSM Website Security
On Missing Play
Beads a Semi-Fictional Account
Playing With Toyosi or How To Torture A Scammer
Hospital Stories

Photo Interpretations
(As I See It)
La Image'
La Image' II
The Shower
My Toy
Daddy's Girl
Chocolate and Roses
Special Delivery
Waiting II
Edge Play
This Flesh
Not Watching
Tango 2
Inside of You
Mentally bound
His Flower
Her Grief

Poetry of a sort
(very little rhymes)

Faded Words on Yellowing Paper
I Was
submissive position

Ladies of the Night

Bedtime Stories
My Love Fable
Pond of Sorrow and Tears
The Journey

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Extreme Body Modification
(Warning some of these photos may offend, even people with twisted minds)


(They May Spank You For Viewing)

Married Man's Fucktoy
Now Tease Me
Incubus Dreams
Peep Show Stories
Annie's Spanking Good Blog
Vue du dedans
Dee Reawakening
Polyfetishist Directory
The Abyss
Mostly Appropriate
Shadow Of A Soul
Liz Vicious Fan Site
La Libertine's Salon
T of Reknin Day
Siren's Song
The Ties That Bind
Mistress Matisse's Journal
3xL : Lust, Love & Latex
Sensual Liberation Army
News For Perverts
The Spanking Blog
Art Of Love
Spanking Art
Pillow Book

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