THIS MATERIAL MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR THOSE UNDER 18.
So if you are under 18, a right wing republican christian or anyone else who is offended by nudity, vulgarity and/or a wanton disrespect for societal norms, consider yourself warned and leave. Oh and might I add, "If thine eyes offend thee, PLUCK THEM OUT". Just don't complain!


~The more defects a man may have, the older he is, the less lovable, the more resounding his success.~
Marquis de Sade


"Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag - and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down - I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. 'Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed? Did he know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment. That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. " from The Libertine and the bottom of Nic's dark soul.

There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.
~Antonin Artaud

I hurt myself today.....to see if i still feel......I focus on the pain......the only thing thats real......The needle tears a hole.....the old familiar sting........try to kill it all away..........but I remember everything........what have I become, my sweetest friend .........everyone i know, goes away in the end.......and you could have it all, my empire of dirt........I will let you down..........I will make you hurt..........I wear this crown of thorns.....upon my liars chair......full of broken thoughts.........I cannot repair..........beneath the stains of time........the feelings dissapear.......you are someone else..........I am still right here.........What have I become, my sweetest friend..........everyone I know, goes away in the end...........and you could have it all, my empire of dirt..........I will let you down............I will make you hurt...........if I could start again, a million miles away..........I will keep myself..........I would find a way.......NINE INCH NAILS







Saturday, October 01, 2005
The Sitter,The Voyeur and Graduation Day

As he paid the 18 year old baby sitter a smile appeared; he was swept back through time to his adolescence and his first fetish experience. He had been about 12 years old and his parents were going out so they hired Carolyn (the 17 year old, girl next door) to watch he and his younger sister. At that point in time those 5 years made a major difference in their stations in life. She was a high school senior and he was just entering the 7th grade (elementary school back then) and she was “baby” sitting which was in itself humiliating; for no matter how young he was in years, he was sure he wasn’t a baby.

Carolyn was pretty if not beautiful, and dressed in the skirts and sweaters that were the fashion of the day. Because the skirts were long he really couldn’t see her legs, but had seen her in a bathing suit (she was the girl next door) on several occasions so knew that under the skirt were these beautiful firm legs leading up to a beautifully rounded ass. Her sweaters always accentuated her full breast and at 12 years old he couldn’t help but fixate on those two perfect orbs. Carolyn was oblivious to his desires, all she saw was the “little boy” next door, so when he sat next to her on the couch (so he could take in her perfume) or wrestled with her; she had no idea as to how she was affecting him. When his parents arrive home they would pay her and watch her walk the short distance to the house just north of theirs. He would draw a deep breath and go to his bedroom the back of the house crawl up on his bunk and play with his cock while thinking about the baby-sitter.

On one such occasion a miracle happened. The baby sitter had returned home and he saw a light go on in the window across the driveway from his own. The window was high on their wall and about two feet high by four feet long and had curtains that were usually drawn so he had no idea what was on the other side. The curtains were not drawn on this night and it soon became apparent that the light was in her bedroom. He scrambled down to the other end of the bunk bed and rested his head on his hands as the “Greatest Show on Earth” began. Carolyn came to the center of the window and stood in front of her dresser mirror. She dropped her skirt and slowly removed her sweater. He was laying there watching her; his cock swelling with every passing second, he was convinced that this would be the greatest thing to ever happen to him (even greater than the time he crawled under a stage and watched older women in a tent changing clothes.)  Carolyn stood in front of the mirror in her Jane Russell, underwire supported, cross your heart bra and white panties for what seemed like an eternity. She would turn her head on occasion and it became evident that she was talking to another person, but finally she turned back to the mirror reached behind her back and unfastened the bra.

As the bra slid from her shoulders it revealed two perfectly formed firm breasts, with nipples that brought back memories of nursing. He laid there stroking his cock and fantasizing about sucking on his baby-sitters nipples when another figure entered the room; it was her mother and she too was half naked. Carolyn’s mother was in her 40’s and had 3 children but was alone because her husband had died. As he laid there, he wondered if Carolyn had nursed at her mother’s nipples 17 years earlier; if so they showed remarkable upkeep. The two women talked and then left the room, turning out the lights and putting an end to his show. He closed his eyes and replayed everything that had just transpired while stroking his stiffened cock faster and faster. In his mind he imagined Carolyn cupping her mother’s breast and bringing it to her lips. As he imagined her sucking, he imagined himself at her breasts and as his fantasy played out he came.

The next morning he looked at the window and found the curtain drawn; disappointed he got up and dressed and prepared himself for school. When he left the house he saw Carolyn waiting outside; she looked at him and smiled. He looked at her and imagined her half naked and smiled back; just then her boyfriend pulled up and she got into his car. As they drove out of sight he became aware of the pressure of his swollen cock pressing up against this pants and the obvious mound it was presenting to the world. He knew he had to “get a grip” on this thing, so went back in the house and back into his room where he not only gripped it, but pushed it to its limits, eventually cumming into an old towel. Carolyn had this strange affect on him and having her baby sit him would cause a real problem.

The next night when he went to bed he noticed the light on and the curtain open. He took up his position at the foot of his bed and waited. Soon the object of his desire re-entered the room. She had on a terry-cloth robe and had a towel around her head (obviously fresh from a bath). She called out to the other room and soon her mother passed through on her way to the bathroom. Her mother was in her bra and panties when she went to the bathroom. Once her mother was gone, Carolyn, removed her robe and stood in front of the mirror completely naked. His gaze dropped from her breasts to the dark patch between her legs. He was once again erect and all he could imagine was spreading those legs and doing the things that older boys talked about at school, like eating her pussy, or fucking her. He let the thoughts take control and within minutes came. As he laid there with his oozing cock in his hand, her mother reappeared. Mrs. Hawthorne, was also completely naked and though much older still had a body that could arouse a young man’s cock and did. As the naked mother and daughter talked; he had an orgy in his mind and came yet again. Carolyn never baby sat for him again and in some ways he felt that was a good thing. He could only imagine himself getting hard when they wrestled, but his imagination had her notice the boy’s swollen cock and then releasing it into her mouth; he was quite sure she knew how to suck a cock, after all she was an older woman. Though she didn’t baby sit she did spend that summer with her curtain pulled back so he was able to fulfill his little voyeur hunger on a nightly basis and sometimes twice a night.

She moved away at the end of that summer and he didn’t see her again for six years. He had learned a great deal about sex over that period of time and at 18 had a reputation on his high school campus. He was getting ready for his graduation, when the car pulled up next door. Carolyn emerged from the car and opened the trunk. There were several suitcases in the back and she was struggling with them when he emerged from the house. He strolled over to her and said “Can I give you a hand?”. She looked up at the man making the offer and smiled. She searched his face and realized that the man in front of her had been the little boy she had baby-sat. Now she flushed with excitement and with eyes lowered said “Sure, I am moving back home and these will go into my room.” He hesitated for a moment and then asked which room was hers (though he knew). She led him back and every memory of the nude encounters with her and sometimes her mother, flashed before his eyes. He realized that though 6 years had passed, she still had the same arousing affect on him and his cock began to grow. He put down the bags and turned to escape. “I am graduating today and need to get ready” he told her as he exited the room, “Maybe I’ll see you later”. She smiled and said “Thanks” and then she said “I’ll keep my curtains open for you”. He froze, “You knew?”  “Of course I did, at first it was like I was messing with you, but soon I found it exciting that I was being watched and that you saw my mother naked as well. In some ways I hated moving away. My marriage wasn’t as hot as the fantasy I had while you watched me, but then you were a boy and it didn’t seem right.” Looking up at him she added, “you do not look like a boy now; you have definitely grown into a man”

Her confession at first shocked him and then it filled him like an aphrodisiac, making him even more excited than he was. “You have no idea how much I desired you then” he told her. “But I have some idea how much you might now.” she responded while staring at his swollen crotch. “Are you going to your graduation looking like that? Why don’t you let me help you get ready?”, The words had barely parted from her lips when she dropped to her knees and unzipped his pants. His cock fell through the zipper and into her waiting mouth. She began sucking on him and taking him into her throat while she held onto his ass. He let it happen and when the time came said “I am going to cum, are you ready?” It was as if she became even more ravenous as she intensified the suction. She felt him swell and then felt and tasted his hot cum as it entered her mouth. She took every drop from him and then licked him. She folded his cock back into his pants and said, “There, consider that a pre-graduation gift. Now go get ready.” In that moment he was 12 again and had just gotten a blow job from his baby-sitter. He blushed, and said “Thanks, you just made graduation totally irrelevant, but I did enjoy the gift. I had plans tonight, but was wondering what you were doing.” She studied his face and simply said, “Anything you want”.As he was remembering the experience, he heard a voice. “Mr. Santos?” He realized the sitter was talking to him. “Have you got any smaller bills?” “No, but let me ask my wife. Carolyn do you have any small bills for the sitter?” A voice came from the upstairs bedroom, “Sure, anything for our son’s favorite sitter!” The girl took the money and he watched as she made the short walk to her home next door. As he went upstairs, he stopped at his son’s door and said, “Don’t stay up too late and try not to get caught.” His son sat in the dark of his bedroom as the light next door came on. “Good night dad”, he said


Posted at 08:34 pm by BondageMaster

My Name is... Dryer Lint
October 6, 2005   11:35 AM PDT
 
When I think back to my experiences babysitting, there were "the monsters", a spoiled brat and a couple of kids that were posterchildren for ADHD. Never babysat for a boy over 4 or 5 max.

You just stirred traumatic recollections. Babysitting reinforced my desire not to spawn...
Christina
October 2, 2005   12:46 AM PDT
 
An oldie .. but a definite goodie. *winks*
loz
October 1, 2005   10:22 PM PDT
 
if I was a boy, I never would've had such an experience... my sitters were always the short, fat, older (and uptight) kind of women :D.

l.
x
 

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My Extended Profile


I have been both a Master and Dom in the BDSM lifestyle for 40 years. I am currently in Sin City, (Las Vegas, Nevada), but I have plied my art all over the country and yes, the giving of pain and pleasure is an art.

I started this because I thought there might be an interaction between myself and like minded individuals, but found most willing to look and not speak; for this reason I have eliminated the tag board and your ability to comment (Consider yourself gagged).

My Blog has become a reflective self analysis and has enabled Me to vent. It has reflected on my childhood, BDSM and it has been a place to share poetry, stories, and art; all erotic in their own way

Having written here for over three years, I realized that I wanted this to be the home of My impure thoughts and deeds; I decided to create another home for the menusha that comes to mind. I created Alt-Thinkining for those who have an interest in my political and social side and who might be appauled or offended by My more carnal thoughts (I love My carnal thoughts ).

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Dominant

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent,or wiser. I do not dominate because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.



I am your Master only after earning your trust and and embracing your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.



You are a woman. You are not weak and inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind, and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.



We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.



You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present the control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty and the faithfulness of your heart.



You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; You have given me dominance over you.



What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind.

I dominate only because you have allowed me too and when I see you kneel before me, in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women, and all the treasures on the earth. What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.

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And From a Submissive Woman

I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength and wisdom.

He is everything to me, as I am everything to him. His touch awakens me and his thoughts free me. Only in serving him do I find complete freedom and joy. His punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that he has my best interests always foremost in his mind. If he desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought him happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is his, and if he says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in his eyes, and because of that I hold my head high... .. for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If he says I am his princess, then I am that...regal and graceful. And if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Master wrong?

If he says I am his toy, his slut, his tramp, then I am that...as wanton and dirty as he wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master. My mind is his, to expand, to explore, to know as only he can. I have no secrets from him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly his. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and I do not want walls.

His lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons he has decided I need, and so I learn from him. My soul is his, as bare to his touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel his presence, be he miles away or standing over me.

I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought he puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for his, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.

His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend his time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him. I am his pleasure and his responsibility, and he takes both seriously. I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.

Only to he who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud.

I am a submissive woman.


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"For women the best aphrodisiacs are words,
The G-spot is in the ears"~Isabel Allende



Things I Had To Hide
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Long Stories

(Series)

Shaking the Family Tree Chapter I
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter II
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter III
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter IV
Shaking the Family Tree Chapter V
Shaking the Family Tree -The Music Lover

Conjuring Adonis I
Conjuring Adonis II
Conjuring Adonis III
Conjuring Adonis IV

Dream Lover I
Dream Lover II
Dream Lover III

Vlad's Lesson Plan
Vlad's Next Semester
Vlad's Final Lesson
Vlad's Beginning
Vlad's Resurrection Part 1
Vlad's Resurrection Part II

The Libertine of Libby Part 1
The Libertine of Libby Part 2
The Libertine of Libby Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 4
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 1
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 2
The Tawdry Tale of Tommy Two Tongues Part 3
The Libertine of Libby Part 5
The Libertine of Libby Part 6
The Libertine of Libby Part 7
The Libertine of Libby Part 8
The Libertine of Libby Part 9
The Libertine of Libby Part 10 (Last Chapter)

j's Seduction
j's Objectification
Recreating j
Educating j

The Photo Shoot Part 1
The Photo Shoot Part 2

Electra's Story Part 1
Electra's Story Part 2

Sunday's Child Part 1

Short Stories
(For those seeking immediate gratification)

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The Book
Dessert
De Sade, the Orgy and the Trial
I Cum In Peace
Biting My Way Into The New Year
Her Master's Test
Off White, Six Defective Doms and One Pathetic Troll
Going Postal
StepfordSlaves
Liberation
The New Year's Party

Nocturnal Events
Nocturnal Emissions
Death
Love's Garden
Patty On A Leash/Re-written
To Confess or Not To confess
Binding of Kay
Raising Bella Donna
One Last Good-bye
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Sub
Stella In The Stacks
Red Rain
Misjudged
Breakfast With A Twist
Mon Couer's Papillon (My Heart's Butterfly)
When Daddy's Girl is Bad
The Sitter, The Voyeur and Graduation Day
Please Don't Hurt Me
Cumalot or Knights In Tarnished Armor
Her Halloween Date
His Voice
Life's Little Ironies
The Gift
My Slut ester
Beads
Playing With Toyosi
The Slave Auction
#9 - A Detective Story

Ramblings and Observations
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Puppy Love
Cunniliguis As A Religious Rite
Players, Pretenders and Abusers
Edgeplay and the Knife
My Youth
Submission
BDSM Website Security
Pain
On Missing Play
Beads a Semi-Fictional Account
Playing With Toyosi or How To Torture A Scammer
Hospital Stories


Photo Interpretations
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La Image'
La Image' II
The Shower
Lips
My Toy
Waiting
Daddy's Girl
Blossom
Chocolate and Roses
Special Delivery
Waiting II
Orgasm
Edge Play
Cocktails
This Flesh
Smoke
Eve
Illusion
Disillusion
Passion
Watching
Not Watching
Intimacy
Tango 2
Inside of You
Dreamscape
Demons
Despair
Spent
Mentally bound
His Flower
Her Grief

Poetry of a sort
(very little rhymes)

Tango
Shadows
Faded Words on Yellowing Paper
I Was
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Bound
Ladies of the Night





Bedtime Stories
(Fables)
My Love Fable
Pond of Sorrow and Tears
The Journey


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Extreme Body Modification
(Warning some of these photos may offend, even people with twisted minds)


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